It’s coming up to a year since my Colline passed away from cardiomyopathy on 25th April 2020. She was only five and a half, and I’m realising that I’m still incredibly heartbroken over her death. Especially with the anniversary approaching, I keep thinking about our last moments together and I get a lump in my throat; I just want to burst into tears. I should clarify that I haven’t felt this way every single second since she died, but I often have these waves of sadness.
I had another cat for 10 years who passed away 7 years ago now; even though I was very sad then, it didn't last anywhere near as long as it has with Colline. So I was wondering, has anyone else here experienced such intense pain for this long? I have to admit, there’s a bit of shame mixed in with the grief because people around me say, “But it was only a cat, I don’t understand why you’re making yourself so ill over it.” 😳
Thank you for any of your stories or advice.
Translated from French
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Just like the rest of you, I suddenly lost my cat two months ago; she wasn’t even four years old. You always feel so guilty for not realising how serious the illness was sooner, or for not paying closer attention, and once they’re gone, you’re left with this overwhelming sense of helplessness. It feels like such a profound injustice. Everyone keeps telling me it was meant to end this way, that it was just her path in life. Now I have to find the courage to move on. If I can give one piece of advice, only talk about it with people who are likely to understand, otherwise you’re just wasting your time.
I think no matter what you do, you always end up feeling guilty. Whatever we did or whatever we might have done never feels like enough, and we’re sure we could have done better, but you can’t turn back the clock. We’re just left with the heartbreak, even though we gave them a wonderful life.
Stay strong—maybe we’ll be reunited with them one day, somewhere up there? That’s what I hope, anyway, even if I don’t really believe in that sort of thing.
It really is so hard. Sometimes I wonder if it’s normal to cry this much; I cry when I hear a song, in the morning, and at night before I go to sleep I just think and think... did I make the right choice taking him to that clinic so far away? Why didn't I wait until first thing in the morning to take him to my own vet, just 5 minutes down the road? Would he still be here???
I’ve lost lots of cats too, most recently my 12-year-old girl. I still feel so guilty, even though it’s been a year and a half now. I kiss her photo in my bedroom and I talk to her and the others. I’ve still got her brother, who’s 13 now.
It’s been nearly five months since my cat passed away. He was 15 years old and had been ill for two years with hyperthyroidism, high blood pressure and heart problems. I did everything I could for him, despite some people telling me I should just let him go; I kept looking after my boy and treating him, and he got another two years of life. On the day he died, I saw him struggling to breathe like he usually did—he’d been back and forth to the vet for oxygen (and the vet always told me he wasn't in PAIN)—but that day he was mouth-breathing and I just started crying. Why? I decided to take him to a clinic that was quite a way off, as it was the only out-of-hours vet open that Sunday. In the car, just three minutes from the clinic, he started coughing. I opened his carrier and he jumped onto the back seat but fell between the seats. I remember talking to him... "what are you doing?" I was crying. He managed to get back up to lie on the seat and, before I could even say goodbye, his heart stopped. He was just lying there, not responding. We’d reached the clinic and he was just limp, his little head to one side and his tongue hanging out. I was sobbing and sobbing—it was horrific, that knot in my stomach just grew and filled me with such pain. The vet took him and did everything she could for 20 minutes; it felt like those minutes were hours. When I saw her come out and she shook her head, telling me they’d done all they could but he’d had a cardiac arrest, my whole world collapsed. To arrive with my baby and leave all alone... I kept picturing him all by himself with his eyes closed in that bag. I’ll never see him again, never. He’s gone and he’s taken a piece of me with him. The pain was immense and the void he's left is terrible; even now, I’m inconsolable. I miss him so much.
Hi there, unlike Janette, I think life can be really unfair sometimes, and some people just seem to get hit with one blow after another and far too many premature deaths. But I also believe it's so important to cherish the good times, to keep moving forward and focus on the ones still with us. When my previous girl passed away, I didn't want another cat because it hurts so much when they leave us, especially when you feel responsible for their death. Over the last few years, I’ve become much more aware of the plight of all those abandoned animals in rescues... so I took in another cat so that her passing wasn't in vain, and to give another cat the happiest life possible.
I did exactly the same as you—I adopted two 4-month-old black kittens from a rescue that no one wanted because of their colour. Honestly, I don't regret it for a second; they really deserved a second chance. I love them and they love me back—what more could you ask for?
The creatures for whom life is truly unfair are the ones born to suffer every single day. For instance, animals in slaughterhouses. And also those kittens who should never have been born and who die within just a few hours. If their lives have no quality to them, it’s better for them if they’re never born at all.
Hi everyone, unlike Janette, I feel that life can be really unfair sometimes and some people just seem to have one blow after another, losing pets way too soon. But I also think it’s important to cherish the good times, to keep moving forward, and to focus on the ones who are still with us. When my last kitty passed away, I didn't want another cat because the heartbreak is just too much when they go, especially if you feel responsible for it. Over the last few years, I’ve become so aware of the suffering of all those abandoned animals in rescues... so I took in another cat so that her death wasn't in vain, but instead meant another cat could have the happiest life possible.
