I'm looking for some advice to help me better understand this rather explosive situation...
We've just brought home a little 2-month-old female kitten. She was born at my parents' house and comes from a line of four generations! All the cats in her family have always been absolute sweethearts and very sociable.
She's been with us for 4 days now :) She's lovely with me and my partner; she purrs, plays, eats everything, and she's house-trained!
The issue is our dog, a Bernese Mountain Dog weighing around 123 lbs (nearly 9 stone), but he's a real gentle giant who obeys our every word! When he sees the kitten, we keep him calm in a 'down-stay' position; he starts whingeing because he's desperate to go and see his new friend :) But she hisses the moment he looks at her! When that happens, we pick her up to reassure her.
We've been introducing them several times a day and things were going better and better; we could get the kitten within 50cm of the dog while he stayed still without her hissing.
By the 3rd day, we could even get her to play near the dog quite easily, until she started spitting right in his face, followed by some aggressive swiping. Today is the 4th day and she's actually approaching him on her own; the dog is being less reactive, almost ignoring her, but the kitten is spitting more and more as she gets closer! We find it quite aggressive and alarming...
So, we're wondering what the best approach is... even though there's progress in her getting closer to him, her reactions are more aggressive than they were at the start.
How should we handle the kitten during these tricky moments?
Thanks in advance!
Translated from French
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I’m not sure if you saw the update I posted, so I’m putting it here again.
Honestly, getting Maïa really sorted things out for us. What I mean is, my little Kiara hadn't quite finished her behavioural socialisation, so we were having issues with her biting and scratching during play, and she was peeing on the bed to get our attention. We managed to train her out of the scratching and biting, and the attention-seeking accidents stopped once Maïa arrived, as she then had Maïa to play with—so, no more peeing. Besides that, it also stopped her from suffering from separation anxiety when we’re out for the day; she used to spend ages meowing behind the door, but all that was sorted once Maïa joined the family. It also means we don't have an anxious cat when we leave. That said, they are both very close to us—real velcro cats, honestly—but they also know how to keep themselves occupied, which is so important, and they’re very close to each other too.
Mind you, getting another kitten doesn't always fix everything, of course!
Okay, thanks for your reassuring replies! Right now she’s doing the ‘crab walk’ while looking at him with her back arched, hopping up in the air and doing zoomies like a mad thing. Thinking about it, it does seem like play, but it’s completely different to how she is with us, which is why it’s so hard to read...
Yeah, well, that just confirms what I was thinking – she wants to play with your pup! Especially if she goes for it during playtime. When I first got Kiara, she was constantly pestering us to play, which is normal, but when we got Maïa, because they play together (and still do a lot now at a year old), they don’t ask to play with us as much, even though we still have games with them :).
You also shouldn't give in, so she understands that when you don't want to play, she needs to settle down or play on her own. Over-attachment can really cause some issues too...
To be honest, getting Maïa really sorted things out for us. What I mean is that little Kiara hadn't quite finished her behavioural weaning, so we had some trouble with nipping and scratching during play, as well as her peeing on the bed to get our attention. We managed to train her out of the scratching and nipping, and the "attention-seeking peeing" was resolved when Maïa arrived. Since she had Maïa to focus on and they played together, the accidents stopped. Besides that, it also stopped her from suffering from separation anxiety when we're out during the day. She used to meow at the door for ages, but all that was sorted once Maïa joined the family, and it means we don't have an anxious cat when we leave the house. That being said, they are both very close to us – real velcro cats – but they know how to occupy themselves too, which is important. They're also very close to each other.
Mind you, getting another kitten doesn't always fix things, of course!
Yes, she’s constantly playing! She’ll play with anything she can get her paws on: empty tissue boxes, plastic bags, balls of foil, bits of string, her cat tree, cardboard boxes, etc. It’s actually during playtime that she’ll go over to him just to hiss and spit, so we try to distract her with play when she gets a bit too hyper!
Otherwise, she’s a kitten who absolutely hates being on her own; she was born and raised with her grandmother, her mum, and her sister! So there was always someone to play with, and the second she’s awake and on her own, she meows to get our attention!
I reckon if your kitten was actually hurting your pooch, he wouldn't just sit there and take it. Even if he does seem like a pretty laid-back lad lol. I think things will settle down in time anyway, and honestly, I really believe that aside from the hissing, your kitten just wants to get that big fluffball moving because he finds him so much fun... Have you tried keeping the kitten a lot more occupied (with feather wands or other toys) to see if he’s still as interested in your boy?
At the moment, we’re just letting them get on with it, even when she’s swiped at him. She just went back to her own thing straight after. He’s a long-haired dog, so his legs aren’t really at risk, but what worries us is if she does the same to his nose, as that could be a lot more serious for him. Given he’s got quite a "submissive" nature, we don't think he’d even move a muscle...
Well, as long as the dog isn’t losing patience and there aren’t any visible injuries, it means he’s still putting up with the kitten. The problem is, if you step in every time, it won’t really achieve much, other than winding the kitten up even more—and then they’ll just keep coming back at your pooch even harder...
Thanks for such a quick reply!
And what about her 'attacking' the dog? She is actually making contact, swiping her paws at his. Should we stop her or just let them get on with it?
