I'm looking for some advice to help me better understand this rather explosive situation...
We've just brought home a little 2-month-old female kitten. She was born at my parents' house and comes from a line of four generations! All the cats in her family have always been absolute sweethearts and very sociable.
She's been with us for 4 days now :) She's lovely with me and my partner; she purrs, plays, eats everything, and she's house-trained!
The issue is our dog, a Bernese Mountain Dog weighing around 123 lbs (nearly 9 stone), but he's a real gentle giant who obeys our every word! When he sees the kitten, we keep him calm in a 'down-stay' position; he starts whingeing because he's desperate to go and see his new friend :) But she hisses the moment he looks at her! When that happens, we pick her up to reassure her.
We've been introducing them several times a day and things were going better and better; we could get the kitten within 50cm of the dog while he stayed still without her hissing.
By the 3rd day, we could even get her to play near the dog quite easily, until she started spitting right in his face, followed by some aggressive swiping. Today is the 4th day and she's actually approaching him on her own; the dog is being less reactive, almost ignoring her, but the kitten is spitting more and more as she gets closer! We find it quite aggressive and alarming...
So, we're wondering what the best approach is... even though there's progress in her getting closer to him, her reactions are more aggressive than they were at the start.
How should we handle the kitten during these tricky moments?
Thanks in advance!
Translated from French
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There are other methods too; simply ignoring them works really well :) You just ignore them and pull your hand away, even if it means walking out of the room. Mind you, some cats are relentless and will keep following you and biting your feet lol—I had that with Kiara, which is why I added the "TSSS" sound, and it made all the difference. Still, if your method works for you, then why not ^^ Vets don't always give the best advice, like scruffing them or rubbing a cat's nose in its wee when it's had an accident outside the tray, and so on...
I've tried your "tsss" technique but it isn't working. The vet told me to do it that way to help him understand that he can play as long as he doesn't use his claws, but as soon as they come out and he starts biting too hard, that’s it – playtime's over.
Have you tried holding the kitten in your arms and letting the dog have a sniff at the start? That’s what helped me and it worked out well. My sister held the kitten in her arms and let my dog sniff him very gently; he even gave him a wash! We did that for several days because my dog is a bit hyper, and it worked out in the end. Has the cat ever been around dogs before? That helps a lot too.
Of course, just because it happened to my aunt (and she only used it very rarely as well) doesn't mean you'll have the same experience. With my girls, I know all about their strong personalities and the hours and hours of playing around the flat... Mind you, I’m not judging you at all; you do whatever you think is best, of course.
Ultimately, it all depends on the cat’s temperament and how it’s being used. Just because your aunt had a bad experience with her cat, it doesn’t mean the same will necessarily happen to me. I’m following the vet’s advice because my cat is very strong-willed.
I let him play with hands or feet but when it goes too far I’m not having it, so yeah, I make it clear that it’s not allowed and it works a treat. As for the water spray, I’ve only had to use it three times; I don’t get it out the second he bites ;).
Pooline, I don't really get your logic here... You’re encouraging your cat to play with your hands and feet, and then if he gets a bit too rough for your liking (because I doubt he thinks he’s being aggressive), you tell him off? He’s only following the signals you’re giving him... "Brilliant, a moving hand or foot, let's play! And she’s even letting me... oh, wait, it’s gone too far and now I’m being sprayed." It’s a bit of a mixed message, isn't it?
I know everyone has their own way of doing things with their pets, but... you have to see that you’re the one egging him on. He isn’t biting or scratching you just for the sake of it. You should also keep in mind that a cat can end up being terrified of its owner. It happened to my aunt, who also used the spray bottle method; even though she didn't do it very often, she can't even get near her cat now.
Personally, I’ve always preferred not to play with my hands or feet. Hands should only be for strokes and fuss.
If he’s going towards the dog, that’s a good sign!! It means he isn’t actually that scared. It’s just a matter of him getting used to things. Usually, when they bat at something, they keep their claws retracted. If he does hurt your dog, the dog will definitely let him know.
However, the fact that he’s hissing at your partner is a bit strange. Did she accidentally tread on his paw or his tail? This morning I accidentally trod on my cat, and when I went back to give him a cuddle to reassure him, he wasn't expecting to see me; he hissed and spat at me while arching his back.
On the other hand, you really need to teach him not to go for faces because that can be dangerous for you. I play with my hands and feet a lot with mine, but the good thing is he retracts his claws as soon as he’s near our faces. If he gets too rough, I give him a little tap on the bum, and if he carries on, I give him a quick squirt with a spray bottle and off he goes.
Yes, I'll look forward to the updates. Just keep in mind that there’s a massive difference between a cat looking for a scrap and one that just wants to play. It’s not always obvious to the naked eye if you don't know what a proper cat fight actually looks like; we often assume they're fighting because play-fighting is just what cats do, that’s just how they are :) But usually, they only pretend to bite (with my girls, I’ve actually put my hand in to check) and they don't really use their claws either. My girls have a bit of a box sometimes, but I can assure you it’s all just games :)
In this video, they’re boxing, but they're just playing :) and then later I find them like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5rL8NzpcjU&feature=youtu.be
You can also check out videos of dogs and cats play-fighting :) Believe me, a cat that actually wants to fight makes a right racket... In my street, there’s one that gets into fights quite often, and you can hear them loud and clear even with the double glazing shut...
