Hi everyone, the title says it all really - I've got a right little handful of a kitten who thinks my hands are prey. I can't do a thing without him pouncing on my hands and nipping them. It's getting really wearing, especially since he hasn't learnt how to tuck his claws in yet, so it really stings. How do I get him to stop? Raising my voice does nothing and I'm obviously not going to hit him... Cheers.
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Right, once play is sorted as the top priority, let’s talk about the right moments.
Teaching them to be affectionate and enjoy cuddles is a really important concept to me. It’s a taste that develops over weeks, months, and years. But you’ve got to pick your moments and the way you do it.
Obviously, when a kitten is settled and super relaxed, that’s the best time to *****learn***** how they like to be cuddled.
Another magical moment—and this one is my favourite—is when the kitten is having a bit of a wash. They’re calm but not quite in nap mode. This is when they might try to go for the hand that’s stroking them. And THAT is when the technique of keeping your hand perfectly still works wonders. You can then combine cuddles with very gentle play, give them little pokes with your fingers, or play tricks on them (I love doing this). For example, while she’s licking her back leg, I’ll give her one or two little taps on the shoulder. She might respond with a tiny, very soft nip. That’s exactly what I’m looking for—a response with the same intensity as my gesture. We’re bonding, having a laugh, and interacting as equals. We’re mates. And she’s respectful (doing her best not to hurt me). If she reacts too strongly, I always keep my hand still. If she keeps at it, a few sharp noises usually do the trick.
Over the weeks and months, the kitten will come to groom themselves next to you more and more often. As time goes by, there’s more cuddling and affection and less over-excitement.
Just a heads-up that this way of playing with a kitten isn’t supported by most cat experts, so take it with a pinch of salt. Usually, any form of interaction using fingers or hands is discouraged. Personally, I find it’s easier to teach a kitten to be gentle by exposing yourself like this rather than avoiding it entirely. That said, the best time—and I can’t stress this enough—is when they come and settle near you for a wash in a semi-relaxed state. That’s when you cuddle, and if it turns into play, it turns into play. The goal is to lower the intensity and teach them to be gentle.
The absolute, number one priority with a kitten is learning how to play with them. Because their hunting instinct is so strong, they **must** explore and fulfil that side of their nature. It’s almost a vital need for their psychological well-being. A cat becomes an adult at around 3 years old; after that, you’ve got about 10 years of them not playing much, where you'll mostly just see them napping and asking for cuddles. That time will come, and it will probably come far too quickly. Right now, we’re at the kitten stage. Cuddles are actually secondary, except at the "right moments". We’ll talk about that later.
In my opinion, the top 3 most important play concepts are hide and seek, chase/ambush/attack, and independent play:
Hide and seek
This is so important for your bond. It’s a way of connecting and communicating. When you walk towards the cat and they run away, you have to see that as an invitation to play hide and seek. If you then run off in the opposite direction and hide while letting them know you're there (I like to let the top of my head or a toe peek out), the cat will slowly come back. They’re curious. So, hide and seek, back and forth.
Chase / ambush / attack
If you want them to lose interest in your hands, you need to get them used to something sturdier and more enjoyable. Nothing beats a mouse on a fishing rod toy, or something similar. With these, you need to learn how to mimic the movement of prey in different scenarios.
Independent play
This is about discovering what kind of objects encourage your kitten to play by themselves. For us, a very lightweight plush mouse works well. Sometimes she bats it about, tosses it in the air, carries it up the cat tree, and so on.
Hi everyone, it’s all in the title really – I’ve got a nightmare of a kitten who thinks my hands are prey. I can’t do a single thing without him pouncing on my hands and nibbling them. It’s exhausting, especially as he hasn't quite figured out how to retract his claws yet, so it really stings. How do I get him to stop? Raising my voice doesn't do anything, and I’m obviously not going to hit him... Thanks.
It’s all pretty simple, really:
First off, the magic trick: when he attacks your hands while you’re just trying to have a cuddle, it’s very straightforward – just freeze your hand. Keep it still and let him have it. Let him "trap" it. He’ll eventually start licking it :)
From there, you negotiate the release of the hostage (your hand). Move it just a tiny bit, very slowly. If he keeps going at it, make a high-pitched noise. Just a heads-up: these yelps aren't meant to punish or scold him, but rather to show him you're hurt. A bit like a littermate squealing in pain.
Personally, I also like to give him a few gentle taps with my fingers as an extra step. I basically turn my finger into a "cat's paw" and give him some really, really soft little taps. Why? To show him exactly how rough I’m willing to play.
It’s up to you to recognise the moments when he’s calm; if his pupils are wide or his tail is flicking, he’s in hunting mode rather than wanting a cuddle. Kittens are real little bundles of energy, they’ve only got play on their minds. They’re ever so cute like that, but exhausting as well.
Yeah, my kitten is exactly the same. He loves playing with my hands, but he gets his claws out. I got him too early at ten weeks old, when twelve weeks is much better, as that’s how they learn from their littermates not to use their claws.
As soon as he wants to play with my hands, I give him a toy right away—usually a little mouse—and he plays with that. Otherwise, I move him away from me so he doesn't get into a bad habit for when he's older, especially since he uses his claws and they sometimes get stuck in my skin!
He even tries to climb up me like I'm a cat tree.
If I want to play with him, I use a wand toy; that way there's no risk of him scratching me. Good luck! Ah, the "joys" of having a kitten... I'm only joking, of course!
Mine climbs up me like a spider too! 😁 Thanks for all your replies. I’m trying to use toys as a distraction, but it’s not always easy when I just want to give him a cuddle or a stroke and he thinks I want to play—he just grabs my hands straight away!
