I had my cat put to sleep and I really regret it

Hi everyone, we’re all so heartbroken about losing our cats... I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. Our first cat passed away at home just before his appointment to be put to sleep. He cried out and was gasping for air for (far too) many minutes. Just struggling to breathe, and there was nothing we could do. With our next cat, we decided not to wait because after his surgery to remove tumours, the cancer came back in his lungs. One day he just stopped eating, drinking, or moving; he looked so poorly and his breathing became difficult overnight. We don’t regret making the appointment; it was "the right time" and we didn't want him to go the same way our first cat did. But in the end, we were faced with the same sight all over again. After the first injection, he became restless and started gasping for breath, suffocating as if he were choking. It was horrific. It even carried on after the final injection. Did your cats just drift off after the first injection? Or is it the same for every cat? Sending strength to everyone...

I completely understand how you're feeling and my heart goes out to you. I lost my own cat nearly three months ago; he passed away in the car on the way to the clinic and even though my situation is different from yours, I still find myself asking the same questions. He was ill, yes, but did I do the right thing? Should I have waited until morning to take him to my own vet instead of an out-of-hours vet far from home, knowing how stressed my boy got in the car and that he was struggling to breathe? It's so hard to keep overthinking and replaying the same things over and over. I honestly don't know what to say to you, other than maybe it was just his time; you felt it and you said yes so that your darling would stop suffering. He won't hold it against you. You were there for him all those years and you did everything you could... you can't turn back the clock. It's incredibly hard, but that's just the way it is, there's nothing we can do.

Your message really moved me. I can feel so much guilt and heartbreak in your words. Please don’t be so hard on yourself; you’re only adding more pain to your grief. Tell yourself that your little girl is at peace now. Just think of what she must have gone through during those two years of fighting. Don't have any regrets, because even if you had waited another week or even two, I don't think it would have changed anything. She was already so frail. I can tell from your words that you took wonderful care of her. The decision to put a pet to sleep is such a difficult one to make, but you did it because deep down you knew there was nothing more that could be done. For now, just give it time to help ease the pain. My thoughts are with you. Stay strong.

Yesterday I had my cat put to sleep and I regret it. He was ill (liver cancer) and hadn't eaten for a long time. He'd stopped eating altogether for a week, but before that he was barely eating anything—less than half an ounce a day. He was still drinking a tiny bit, though. But he was starting to get weak. Even so, he still reacted when I gave him attention; he loved it when I brushed him. The day before yesterday, he was walking very slowly and couldn't get up on the sofa by himself anymore. I feel terribly guilty for cutting his life short, even though I know he was terminal. I could have waited a little bit longer. Doing it yesterday felt too soon. I feel awful about what I've done. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I'm in the exact same boat as you... My cat passed away on Sunday... I don't even understand why I agreed to put her to sleep when the vet suggested it. I know she could have lived a bit longer... She was born with only one working kidney and a heart murmur, but she held on for 16 long years, and for the last two she fought so hard against her illness... Three times before, it was suggested that I have her put down and I refused every time—and she bounced back every single time! And yet, this time I said yes... I don't even know why I said yes, it's like it wasn't even me, I can't believe it... She was in pain, but I'm sure she could have pulled through one more time... I hate myself more than I can imagine; I've killed my cat...

Hi Lila, I think when we lose a pet, we always feel guilty. In my case, after she was hospitalised for fluid on her lungs, her condition went downhill pretty fast. I was syringe-feeding her. I waited too long to have her put to sleep; during those last few days we spent together, I could see she was suffering but I just wasn't ready to let her go. When I finally took her to the vet to have her put down, he told me she was already dying. I’m not even sure she even realised I was there with her. Ever since, I’ve felt so guilty for being too selfish and not doing what was right in time. Please don't have any regrets; we all do our best in such difficult situations, and it’s always so hard to be the one who has to make the decision to put them to sleep.

Hi Ptitemat, Thanks for your message. The last few months have really helped me realise just how much he was suffering. Even the steroids I’d pinned so much hope on weren't doing anything for him. Reading what your vet told you reassures me that I made the right choice. I miss him so much. I’ve got his ashes back now, so he’s still close to us. Ultimately, I did make the right decision. I put an end to his suffering, especially as there was nothing more that could be done for my baby who I love so much. I hope you’re doing okay. These are such difficult situations. You never know at the time if you're making the right choice. But we’re only human and we just do what feels right. Regardless of the decision, the pain is the same. Try not to feel guilty because you’re just adding unnecessary heartache; missing him is hard enough as it is. Don’t put yourself through that double burden. I’m sure you were a wonderful mum to him. Sending strength to you as well.

Yesterday I had my cat put to sleep and I regret it so much. He was ill (liver cancer) and hadn't been eating for a long time. He'd stopped eating entirely a week ago, but before that, he was barely eating anything, less than half an ounce a day. He was still drinking a little bit though. But he was starting to get so weak. Even so, he still reacted when I gave him attention; he absolutely loved being brushed. The day before yesterday, he was walking very slowly and couldn't get onto the sofa by himself anymore. I feel terrible for cutting his life short, even though I'm aware he was terminally ill. I could have waited a little longer. Doing it yesterday felt too soon. I feel awful for making that decision. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Hi Lila, Please don't have any regrets... I had to make that decision for my little panther, and I waited too long; those last two days were really tough on him, and on me too... When I took him to the vet, they explained that by the time you can see your cat is doing really badly, they've actually been feeling poorly for a long time, but they just keep going until the very end. They also explained that it’s better to bring them in rather than waiting for that 'day too many', in which case it becomes an emergency out-of-hours euthanasia, which is even harder for everyone: the animal, the vet, and the owner. Ultimately, I think you have to trust yourself; we know our pets better than anyone and we can sense when it’s the right time for them. Thinking of you.

Hi, I’m in exactly the same boat as you; I had to say goodbye to my cat three weeks ago because of mammary tumours. Even though she’d had surgery two months before, it all came back so quickly... within a week, she had a new lump the size of an egg under her leg. These cancers are absolute nastiness, and I think it would have been the same with the liver. Like you, I’m constantly wondering if I should have waited just a few more days, but seeing her like that was unbearable for me. She was eating a tiny bit of wet food and wasn’t moving much, but most of all, she was struggling to breathe. She had fluid on her lungs and was at risk of suffocating. I truly believe we made the best decision; you shouldn’t wait until they’re suffering to let them go when they are terminal. They don’t realise what's happening, and we’re the ones who find it hard, but as her "mum", I’d rather take on the suffering myself than let her go through it. You made the right call. Just tell yourself that sometimes people don’t act quickly enough and the cat ends up passing away in pain—keeping her for a few extra days wouldn’t have saved her life; if anything, it would have been worse. I’m sending you lots of strength during this difficult time.

"You know, you always feel guilty when you have to let a pet go; you wonder if it was the right time. But if you hadn't done it, he would have suffered and you'd have felt guilty about that, too. He might have lived a bit longer, sure, but at the cost of so much pain. It’s the final act of love you could have shown him. Stay strong." "You’re right, Aurore, that’s exactly it. Yesterday I wasn’t sure if it was the right time and doubt really started to creep in. But deep down, I knew I didn’t want to let him suffer. It was so hard seeing him stop eating and getting weaker and weaker. And as you say, he obviously would have just continued to suffer. It’s a terrible thing to go through. But like all of life’s major experiences, there’s a lesson in it for those of us who live through them."

You know, there’s always such a sense of guilt when you have to say goodbye to a pet; you can’t help but wonder if it was really the right time. But if you hadn’t made that decision, they would have just been in pain, and you would have ended up blaming yourself for that too. They might have held on for a little while longer, but at the cost of so much suffering. It truly is the final act of love you could have shown them. Thinking of you.