I don't know whether to have my cat put to sleep or not

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Hi everyone,

I’m writing to get some advice about my cat, a 13-year-old male.

He’s suffering from feline calicivirus, which he caught about 7 years ago after coming into contact with a stray cat.

Right after that, I had his first dental done, which went very well. He was having regular steroid and antibiotic injections, along with various other treatments (homeopathic and others), which kept him comfortable and doing well.

In September 2020, I noticed his mouth was getting very messy; he couldn't clean himself anymore and was struggling to eat, despite the treatments.

The vet recommended another dental, which we did in November 2020.

To summarise the timeline:

- November: The dental went very badly. He refused to eat or drink, was completely listless, hiding away, and lost a huge amount of weight until he was just skin and bone. He was very down, and the vet was worried he might not make it. I took him to see some other vets just to be sure, and they confirmed the dental was done correctly, but that he was reacting very badly to the surgery and couldn't eat because his mouth was throbbing with pain. He was put on a drip regularly, and I tried to get him to eat by putting out about ten different plates with plenty of options.

- Early Jan '21: He finally started eating again and putting on weight. He would only eat cooked white meat, finely chopped, then gradually I tried to get him back onto cat food.

- Jan/Feb '21: He was eating, but his behaviour became strange. He meows day and night, and every day at the same time and place, he pees outside his litter tray. Despite my attempts to stop him, I'm at my wit's end. Plus, he doesn't really live "with" us anymore; he spends all his time in the kitchen on the chairs waiting to be fed, as if he's trying to make up for lost time. He’s basically a walking stomach who doesn't interact with us anymore, and he’s becoming difficult to manage.

- March '21: Back to the vet (I should mention I’m now giving him a monthly injection for the pain), and she told me I should think about putting him to sleep because he's losing weight again, he's dehydrated, and his mouth is very inflamed and messy once more. I refused because I feel like he’s still hanging in there.

==> More to follow

Translated from French
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Having had a girl with very advanced calicivirus myself, I can tell you it’s very manageable, provided you have all the teeth removed—you can keep the canines, but it’s not strictly necessary. As soon as her teeth were out and her gums had healed up (which happened very quickly), she was able to eat normally again, even dry food. During flare-ups, I’d make her a kind of soup by mixing her dry food with warm water because she refused wet food, and that worked a treat. She was only ever on Antirobe antibiotics, never any steroids.

    If I were you, I’d change vets, because if they haven’t suggested this, they aren’t really up to speed with things. Having the teeth removed is the absolute basics for calicivirus. Besides, suggesting putting the cat down feels like a bit of an easy way out. Get a second opinion as soon as possible; your cat is hanging in there and still has some good years left in them. It’s certainly an invasive and painful condition, but it can be managed, even if it can't be fully cured.

    Translated from French
    L
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    At the moment, he eats some things but doesn't necessarily finish his bowl (I often end up throwing half of it away). He drinks—mainly cat milk, as he refuses water. His only "hangout" spot is the kitchen; we can't go in there without him getting under our feet, meowing for food. He’s not really interested in strokes or cuddles anymore. He doesn’t groom himself at all now and hates being brushed, so he’s got massive mats and tangles, even bits of litter and poo stuck to him. I really struggle to clean him because he puts up a fight and screams. His mouth is in a terrible state; he often has half-rotten food from the day before around his mouth, and sometimes bits of food dangling several inches down, which I find really hard to remove... To be honest, he’s heartbreaking to look at. Anyone seeing him would think he’s being neglected or has been abandoned... It’s incredibly sad. But at the same time, he’s hanging in there. He’s not lethargic (he just stays in the kitchen), he asks for food, and he’s still got some spirit in him. Anyway, at the end of the day, I just don't know what to do. While I really regret not having the courage to put down my other cat—who was 20 and suffered in his final days, even though I could see he was at the end—with this one, even if there are "pros" for euthanasia, I feel like he’s clinging on. It’s not like he’s begging me to put him out of his misery yet. I don't know what to do. I see him looking thin and dirty, struggling to eat, but I’m not sure if it’s enough to follow the vet's advice and have him put to sleep, because like I said, he’s hanging on. I don’t want to do something so difficult prematurely and then regret it, thinking it could have waited. But I don’t want to leave him in pain either, and end up wishing I’d had more courage and helped him go... I’m lost. So I’m coming to you for help, advice, and maybe a more objective look at the situation... thank you for that (and for reading my massive essay). Thanks so much and have a lovely day, everyone!
    Translated from French
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