I don't know whether to have my cat put to sleep or not

Hello, I’m coming to this thread a bit late, but I’d really like to know how things turned out for you, as I’m in exactly the same boat. My cat is 13. He was diagnosed with calicivirus in November; it hasn’t affected his gums, but the back of his throat and his palate (bloody ulcers). He was drooling blood. We’ve tried injections, but they’ve taken a toll on his other organs. Tooth extraction isn’t an option because the problem is located elsewhere. There’s no treatment other than steroids, which I give him as tablets crushed into his wet food, but he isn’t finishing his meals anymore. Like yours, he’s skin and bone. He just spends his time in the kitchen waiting for the next bit of wet food, which he barely laps up. He’s stopped grooming himself and, for the last 10 days, he’s been peeing everywhere except in his litter tray. It’s heartbreaking to see him in such a state, and I’m completely lost because my vet isn’t giving me any advice at all! I even wrote to them today to say that I don’t want to see my cat suffer anymore. Writing those words was gut-wrenching, but I don’t want him to suffer needlessly. Seeing him waste away is just too much to bear. Putting him to sleep feels cruel because he’s still hanging in there, but is this any kind of life for a cat, despite all the love I have for him? On top of all that, I have a younger cat who has started attacking him, which he never used to do. I’m completely lost and at my wit’s end. I’ve rarely found an account so similar to my own. Thank you for your reply.

I think she was 4. I got her when she was 2, rescued in a right state with a nasty case of calicivirus. For two years it was okay-ish, and when I changed vets after moving house, my new vet suggested it straight away, which I did and never regretted. But at 13, I’d give it a go; she could still have some lovely years ahead of her. Of course, I understand not wanting to put them through too much — I’m usually against that myself — but for calicivirus, I’d take the risk since she’s got nothing to lose and everything to gain anyway.

The vet will provide painkillers after the extractions. With my own cat, I didn't see any signs of pain; she actually seemed hugely relieved afterwards. Within a week, she was back to eating her dry food—cats have very tough gums, so they can still eat normally even without teeth. For the first week, try mixing her dry food with warm water to make a soup, or offer some wet food if she enjoys it. Ultimately, you're the best judge here; we can't make the decision for you, as everyone has to do what they feel is right. The most important thing is to make sure your little girl isn't left in pain, so please do act quickly.

We completely understand where you're coming from. Unfortunately, I can’t really help as I’ve never had to deal with this specific illness, but like many of us, I’ve had to make the decision to have a pet put to sleep and it’s just heartbreaking. My heart goes out to you and your poor kitty. Whatever you decide, please don't beat yourself up; I know you’ll just do what your heart tells you. Don’t feel bad about coming back here to share your struggles and your feelings—I really hope someone can be of more help to you than I’ve been.

Hi everyone, Thank you all so much for your replies and for taking the trouble to help, it’s really kind of you. To be honest, after thinking it over and talking with my partner, I feel terrible about the idea of him having his teeth out, and I can actually understand why the two vets I've seen were hesitant about it. Firstly, I don't know, it just feels so barbaric. I’m sorry, but I really struggle with the idea: I’ve had teeth pulled before and the pain was awful! and at least I understood why it was happening and could take painkillers and use ice packs, but for a cat... he won't understand a thing and the pain will be so intense! Secondly, my cat reacted so badly to a simple scale and polish that I daren't imagine a more major operation. I didn’t mention that, on top of not being able to eat for two months (even though he was drooling over his food bowls), he suddenly lost his hearing after the surgery! As strange as it sounds, it’s true – he’s completely deaf now! The second vet I saw (who is highly recommended in the area) told me it happens in very rare cases... and my cat has always been sensitive to everything (even though I adopted him at two months old and have cuddled and reassured him his whole life). She was surprised by how badly he reacted overall to the op, so much so that she even wanted to avoid light sedation for his drips... Which brings me to my third point: imagine I go ahead with the extractions, causing him huge mental and physical distress. Suppose he survives the surgery, but then he’s in absolute agony for weeks, unable to eat or drink just like last time. You can imagine it – back and forth to the vet for drips, staying in for two or three days at a time... and if he can't get past it, I’ll end up having to put him to sleep anyway. He’ll have suffered so much more than he is now during his final weeks... it’s just heart-breaking to imagine. I felt so much guilt after the last dental, telling myself I should have just left well alone rather than putting him through that; I’d never forgive myself if I did it again. I don’t know if you understand where I’m coming from... but honestly, I don’t think I can face the idea of the extractions. But at the same time, I refuse to have him put down. Yet, I can see he’s not right: how could he be, with his mouth all inflamed, being so underweight, dehydrated, and not even able to groom himself... It’s an awful situation. I feel so stuck. Sorry for just offloading my feelings like this, it’s such a horrible situation for me, I’m so upset and completely lost. Thanks again.

Hello, Your cat has been suffering for a long time now, despite all your best efforts. In my opinion, for what it’s worth, you should consider a full-mouth tooth extraction; it’s the only real way to manage Calicivirus. It’s one of two things: either it goes well and there’s a very good chance the pain will stop, allowing him to eat again (wet food only, obviously). Or, because he is so frail, he might not wake up from the anaesthetic. Either way, his suffering would be over. The worst thing to do would be to let him carry on in pain without trying anything. A cat will never ask you to put them out of their misery, but what you’re describing is a cat in constant pain. In the wild, he would have already starved to death, just like all the strays who catch this awful disease. Hang in there, these are such difficult situations to deal with.

Hi, Thanks for getting back to me, it's really kind of you to reply. The problem is that the option of having teeth extracted was indeed considered, but it can't be done because, given how badly the scale and polish went, none of the vets I've seen want to risk operating again and touching their mouth... What should I do? Do you think I should still try and go ahead with the extraction surgery regardless? Thanks a lot!