I'm not sure if I'm in the right place, but here goes.
I've moved house twice before with my cat without any issues; he settled into his new territory really quickly and I didn't see any changes in his behaviour.
As you might have guessed, I moved for the third time following a break-up about two weeks ago. My cat is usually very active, playful, and spends a lot of time outdoors... But he's just not himself lately. It might be a bit early for him to have settled in, but compared to my previous experiences where everything went smoothly, I'm starting to worry.
He doesn't want to go out anymore, he's sleeping all the time, meowing a lot and just looks miserable, which is breaking my heart. We've always been very close and I've always done my best to make sure he's happy (I always choose a new place based on him having outdoor access because I don't want to keep him cooped up inside...).
Then last night, he went out as usual, but as time went on, I felt like something was wrong. I spent hours searching the neighbourhood and knocked on doors of neighbours who might have seen him. No sign of him.
So I got in touch with my ex, just in case he’d gone back to my old place. It's in the same village but right at the other end.
I've got him back now and I've put on a Feliway diffuser, bought his favourite treats, and tried playing with him, but I feel so helpless. I just feel like he wasn't happy here...
I'm posting this to see if anyone has been through something similar, or if you have any ideas on how to fix this.
Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to give as much detail as possible so you understand the situation. Thanks a lot!
Translated from French
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Even more so because I’m currently staying with someone; given the current situation, I haven’t been able to find any accommodation. It means this flat isn’t a permanent home... double the stress for him 🤧
Hi everyone, first of all, thank you for your replies. He’s a male and he’s neutered. This whole thing is really worrying me... The thought of losing him terrifies me. I’m going to try keeping him indoors for a bit even though it breaks my heart... And thanks for the butter trick, I’ll give it a try! It’s true that at his old house he had his routine, plenty of cats to play with... and now, he’s all alone in the middle of the countryside... all he does is sleep... 🙁
Céline, the butter trick is for when you let him out, and that's not just yet...
You need to keep him inside, and never mind if "it breaks your heart", because if he gets run over, it’ll be much worse than a bit of heartache, OK?
Promise?
Because I don't want to find a post in a few days or weeks saying he's passed away or is at the emergency vet. 🤧
Hi everyone,
First of all, thank you for your replies.
He’s a male and he’s been neutered.
This whole situation is really worrying me... the thought of losing him terrifies me.
I’m going to try keeping him indoors for a while, even though it breaks my heart...
And thanks for the tip about the butter, I’ll give it a go!
It’s true that at his old house he had his routine and plenty of other cats to play with... and now he’s ended up all alone in the middle of the countryside... all he does is sleep... 🙁
Oh no, Liza... I'm so sorry about your cats... Moving house is always a tricky business. I regret moving more than anything because we also lost one of our sweethearts that we loved so dearly.
Céline, it’s really important to keep your cat indoors in his new environment for a while.
Is he neutered? If he isn't, he'll wander off quite far and risk crossing roads like you mentioned.
Hi, I'm not sure if this is what you did, but the best thing to do when you're moving house like that is to take your pet to the new house or flat so they can explore the place a bit... And you should do it as often as possible leading up to the move... Then you need to keep them inside for at least a month so they can settle in and leave their scent everywhere... They've got no way of getting their bearings if you don't do that...
Hi Wolf
Your advice is sound, but it's rarely doable.
It all depends on the distance and having access to the new place.
If you have access but it's still occupied, it's best to avoid it, and if it's empty, the cat won't have a clue what's going on.
I've experienced the latter myself in a house we were renovating while waiting to move in. I had to take the cats and keep them shut inside: the echo in the empty house really spooked them.
That's when I lost a cat during the move, even though he already knew the place.
Hi there,
@Isie: I never knew about the butter trick! If only I’d known… I lost two cats after moving house, but since it was about 60 miles away…
Celine said he’s just at the end of the village, so he was bound to find his way back.
Yes, Isie is right – you really need to keep a cat indoors for up to a month if they’re eventually going to be let out (or for a fortnight if you're in a flat, just in case they manage to escape).
He’ll settle into his new home; he just needs a bit of time. Don’t worry, and don’t mind if he meows. Plug in one of those Feliway diffusers (they’re effective for 3 weeks).
Besides, if he was used to wandering, he might have been going quite far—perhaps even as far as the distance he covered to get back "home".
You’re in the right place, and no problem at all about the long messages; when they’re too short, we just have to keep asking questions. 👌
Liza
Hi there,
I’ve always heard that after moving house, it’s best to keep your cat indoors for at least two weeks. I know it can be really tough on them, but they need time to familiarise themselves with the smells of their new home.
You could try taking him outside on a harness during those first two weeks (just make sure to get him used to the harness alone indoors before attaching a lead).
Also, I’ve always been told to rub a bit of butter on their paws before letting them out for the first time so they keep the scents of the new territory in mind.
Do you live far from your old place?
He must have picked up the scent of his old markings from a distance... It’s just instinct for them to try and find them again so they can refresh them and keep defending their patch. He hasn’t quite realised yet that he needs to settle into a new area.
Hi there,
I know. I was in a difficult spot where I had to leave my flat very suddenly, and I didn't have the chance to prepare my cat for it.
As I mentioned above, all my previous moves went well; my cat always settled in really quickly without any issues. Maybe it was a mistake on my part to let him out too soon, I don't know... but the fact is, he meows non-stop to get outside. I feel like I’m keeping him prisoner and making him miserable, which is why I let him out.
What worries me most is that he’s gone back to my old place, despite all the roads... he’s done it once already, and I’m terrified it’ll happen again. It’s really worrying.
Hi there,
I’m not sure if this is what you’ve done, but the best thing when you're moving house like that is to take your pet to the new house or flat so they can explore the place a bit... You should do it as often as possible leading up to the move... Then you’ve got to keep them indoors for at least a month so they can get used to the surroundings and get their scent everywhere... They’ll have no way of finding their bearings if you don’t do that...
