Desperate! My cat is terrorising my kitten!

So, if I’ve got this right, your kitten is about two and a half months old now?

I went through the exact same thing when my cat had her kittens. I started letting them live with the dad when the kittens were 7 weeks old. The dad (my male, who was neutered the day before the kittens were born) would have these phases where he’d grab the kittens by the throat and the little ones would scream. (I say 'phases' because there were also times when he’d cuddle and play with them). He’d even eat the kitten dry food and ignore his own. I also noticed that before that, the mum would do the same thing to calm them down when they were being too naughty. I called my vet to explain what was happening, and he told me there was no risk of him actually killing the kittens. It’s a way of asserting dominance and teaching them a lesson—basically showing them the boundaries when it comes to biting and scratching. He told me not to step in and that it wouldn't last long. And he was right. After a while, it wasn't nearly as aggressive.

The kittens are 11 and a half months old now, and the siblings still do it to each other. Sometimes they'll have a proper scream in the middle of the night. But now that I understand how they assert dominance and demand respect, I don't worry about it anymore. I actually find it quite interesting to watch how they communicate with one another.

I'm not sure if sharing my experience helps or puts your mind at rest, but give your vet a ring too and see what they think. It’s always good to hear from others who've been through it, as well as getting professional advice.

Hi there,

It can happen that two cats just don't get along, and believe me, I’ve been there myself. It’s not always a territorial issue, but rather how the resident cat perceives the newcomer; they can be seen as an intruder, and that’s when things get tricky. From what you’ve described, he’s growling, attacking, and eating the dry food just to assert his dominance over the other one.

You also have to think about the first cat's willingness to share, but that’s often wishful thinking because a new arrival disrupts their routine. The cat’s stress is showing through this rejection of the other.

You’ll need to keep them separate at first so the newcomer can gain some strength and stay out of harm's way, before trying some gradual introductions to help them get on better.

Maybe try a separate litter tray for the kitten and their own food, making sure to keep the food well away from the toilet area.

If it carries on, I’d recommend seeing a pet behaviourist to help put a proper settling-in strategy in place.

I’m going to try putting their food bowls in different rooms, that’s a great idea and thanks for the tip!!!

I hope someone else can help too, thanks again for your help!!

Well, as for the dry food, you should feed them in separate rooms and let them go in and out throughout the day, as cats don't have three meals like we do but prefer to graze, eating little and often.

As for the aggression issues, I'm not really sure so I can't help you there, but I know there are other members on the forum who will be able to give you better advice than I can ;)

First of all, thanks so much for your reply!! It’s really kind of you to take the time to get back to me :)

At first, I didn’t step in because she was only batting at him with her paws, and I’d actually been told not to get involved. But since she’s started biting him like this, I’ve tried to stay out of it, but unless I shout she won’t let go. The kitten cries louder and louder and I just can't bear the thought of her hurting him :(

Yes, you’re right that she doesn’t understand, but I’m really worried she’ll put on too much weight and end up with health issues if she eats kitten kibble, especially since she’s already been spayed!

Normally, the advice is not to get involved when cats are fighting, as it's just their way of sorting out who’s boss, and it doesn't usually last very long. But obviously, if the kitten is in pain, it's completely understandable that you’d step in. Mind you, it might be because you intervened right from the start that they’ve carried on like this.

I'm not entirely sure what else to suggest, but perhaps some other members here have been through the same thing.

As for the dry food... well, it’s a real nightmare trying to stop one cat from eating the other's. I've never managed it myself. When I had to give my two cats different dry food, I had to feed them in separate rooms, otherwise it was just impossible. It’s only natural for a cat to want a taste of what's in the other bowl—they probably think the other one has got something better! They just can't understand why they aren't allowed it.