Right, I’ve got a 7-month-old kitten. We got her from a rescue centre back in July when she wasn't even 2 months old, so she hadn't been fully weaned. She'd been abandoned.
She’s always been... 'hyperactive'. She wants to play constantly, gets the zoomies every single hour, and bites and scratches whenever she plays with us. She’s not cuddly at all; as soon as you pick her up, she wants to get down. She only purrs when she’s kneading her blanket.
Nowadays, it’s still the same, but the thing is she’s big enough now to jump on all the furniture. We try to keep her off the kitchen counters but it makes no difference – she just doesn't listen. She steals food, and if there’s a bit of paper lying around she’ll grab it, and then if you try to take it back she growls at us. Yeah, actually growls, not just hissing.
She eats anything and everything... if there's any food left out and we turn our backs for a minute, she’s on it...
She has loads of toys but she prefers attacking our feet and legs (claws out and biting, obviously). She’s got a proper little bed, but she prefers a cardboard box we left out for her because she likes playing with it.
So here’s the problem: we try to set boundaries (as you do) but she doesn’t listen to a word! We’ve tried everything: the spray bottle, a little tap on the bum, blowing on her nose, shouting at her... We even got one of those plug-in diffusers that are supposed to calm cats down... well, that’s not working, is it.
It’s getting really exhausting; I feel like I’m telling her off 24/7 and I hate it...
Please, if you have any solutions, let me know 🙏
Translated from French
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Hi! :)
You’re describing my Nougat, the puss I had before. He’d been taken away from his mum too early as well.
I never had the heart to scold him or give him a telling-off.
- Regarding your furniture, I'm not sure if it’s possible, but maybe you could put chairs in front of them? That way she won't hurt herself if she falls; she'll just climb down instead.
- About the biting, I used to roll up my sleeve and he’d bite me with aaaall his might while batting me with his paw; he absolutely loved it.
- To encourage cuddles, I’d put on a fleece jacket and lie on my bed. Since he loved "making biscuits" on fleece, he’d come over and give me those rare and precious purrs.
- To help her bond with you, try associating every positive action with a very soft, loving voice—over-the-top sweet.
Always use the same tone and the same sweet words.
Do it when you're giving her food or water, when you give her a cardboard box, etc.
- Like someone already mentioned, the best way to get her playing is a fishing rod toy with a mouse or some feathers/coloured string on the end. My kitty would play with that for ages every time.
I've actually ordered some puzzle feeders, kibble balls and treat tubes for my little one to see how that goes.
There’s also a toy called a "Cat’s Meow"—it’s a mat with a motorised mouse that moves around underneath it. It runs for 30 minutes.
- He used to tolerate cuddles when he was half-asleep.
- With my new little one, I’m planning on using treats—not sure if it’ll work yet. He’s a Persian, so I have to brush him every day, for example, so he gets treats afterwards.
To get him used to being picked up, I use treats, a play session straight after, or some wet food. That way he’ll see I’m not a threat, but then my kitten is already super cuddly and follows me everywhere anyway.
- Cats go crazy for matatabi (silver vine). It’s a type of catnip you can get in sticks. It’s perfect for coaxing them towards you.
Plus, it's really good for their teeth.
If she’s struggling with hairballs, you could try giving her some malt paste; lots of cats love it, and it’s perfectly safe in tiny amounts once or twice a week.
Blue Cat and Kikaah have already covered everything, but I’ve tried a Pipolino with my cat. He’s 3 years old and lately he’s started trying to steal our food (something he’s never done before)... even though he has dry food out 24/7, of course. Since he spends his summers roaming around and hunting, living off his catches, I reckoned he needed to burn off some energy and might be experiencing some food-related stress... the Pipolino keeps him occupied and I put treats in it.
As for having a cuddly cat, a lot of it comes down to their personality; my other cat never comes to sit on us, doesn’t like being stroked, and only purrs very rarely. You’ve just got to be patient in those situations.
Rather than punishing her, try to encourage good behaviour. If she jumps up on the furniture, use a toy to guide her onto her cat tree instead. Give her a variety of toys and rotate them every so often (you don't necessarily need to buy new ones, just put some away for a while and then bring others out). There are also plenty of enrichment toys available—often marketed for dogs but they work brilliantly for cats too—like snuffle mats, a Kong stuffed with wet food, a Pipolino (have a look online ^^), or long-lasting chews. These will keep her busy for ages, and if she’s a bit of a greedy guts, she’ll absolutely love it!
Hello there... Well, we've certainly got our work cut out!
- Only the cat decides where they want to sleep.
- Many cats don't know how to play by themselves and need long play sessions WITH their owner. Don't play directly with your hands; use a fishing rod toy or a feather duster until she’s completely worn out.
- A cat that jumps on any food in sight is suffering from "food stress". There is no good reason not to leave dry food out 24/7, unless there are issues with obesity or a medical condition requiring a specific diet.
- Every cat in the world loves climbing on furniture; it’s just instinct. It is vital that your cat has access to several "authorised" high spots and at least one cat tree near a window.
- The more a nervous cat gets "told off", the more nervous they become.
- A cat that doesn't like being held or carried must never be forced to accept it. Many properly weaned cats (which isn't the case for yours) don't like it. YOU MUST RESPECT THIS!
- Your girl is at the age to be spayed; the operation has nothing but benefits and often calms a cat down.
So, some advice: Play with her for a long time, especially in the evening, until she's exhausted. Give her access to several high spots by putting down a nice blanket for her. Leave her food out 24/7. It’s up to you, as the intelligent human, to listen to your cat and adapt your behaviour accordingly, especially by respecting her needs as a cat AND her own personality. She won't change; only you can significantly improve the relationship.
Thanks for your reply! I obviously respect her choice to sleep wherever she wants; I was just describing the situation. She does have a cat tree right by a window. She also has her blanket on the sofa where she often goes to knead and have a nap. We had her spayed just under a month ago – I thought her behaviour might change, but no, she's still the same.
If telling her off makes her nervous, what can I do when she's being naughty? It really breaks my heart when I have to scold her, but I'm at my wits' end...
Right then... well... you’ve certainly got your work cut out for you!
- Only the cat gets to decide where they want to sleep.
- Many cats don’t know how to play on their own and need long play sessions WITH their owner. Don't play directly with your hands; use a fishing rod toy or a feather wand instead, and keep going until the cat is completely worn out.
- A cat that pounces on anything edible is suffering from food-related stress. There is no valid reason not to leave dry food out 24/7, unless they are obese or have a medical condition requiring a specific diet.
- Every cat in the world loves climbing on furniture; it’s just instinct. It is vital that your cat has access to several 'authorised' high spots and at least one cat tree near a window.
- The more a nervous cat is 'told off', the more anxious they become.
- A cat that doesn't like being picked up or held should never be forced to accept it. Plenty of properly weaned cats (which isn't the case for yours) don't like it. YOU HAVE TO RESPECT THAT!
- Your cat is old enough to be spayed; the procedure has nothing but benefits and often helps to calm a cat down.
So, here’s my advice: Have long play sessions with her, especially in the evening, until she’s exhausted. Give her access to several high spots by putting down a cosy blanket. Leave food out for her 24/7.
It’s up to you, as the intelligent human, to listen to your cat and adapt your behaviour accordingly—above all, by respecting her needs as a cat AND her own unique personality. She isn’t going to change; you are the only one who can truly improve the relationship.
