Hello everyone 🙂 Exactly one month ago, we adopted a 2-year-old female cat from a local rescue shelter, where she'd been taken in along with several other cats from a site.
She'd just come back from a previous adopter who returned her after only 3 days because she was too nervous (no comment…). We absolutely fell for her and decided to give her a second chance.
Because she'd never been in a foster home, nobody really knew what kind of environment she'd feel most comfortable in.
Before she arrived, we'd had a Feliway diffuser plugged in for a week. We put her cat tree, food, and litter tray in the living room, as we barely use it.
She very quickly legged it to the hideaway at the top of the cat tree, where she can keep an eye on the room while staying out of sight. And honestly, not much has changed over the past month.
She meows every night, and won't eat, sleep, use her litter tray, or come out of her hiding spot when we're in the same room. She almost always waits until night to do her business, and can hold it in for an entire day if it means avoiding the risk of us catching her out in the open. We pop in every now and then to talk to her and leave treats in front of her hiding spot (which she'll only touch once we've left). Over the past couple of days I've been trying a few gentle strokes, which she seems to tolerate to some extent — at least her breathing seems fairly calm, which is already an improvement — but I have to get down to her level, otherwise she panics.
She's constantly searching for new hiding spots around the flat so we can't find her and she can be left in peace, so I'm not entirely sure whether seeking her out is the right approach. At the same time, we get the feeling she's far too wary of humans to ever make the first move herself, so we're a bit lost. We know that socialising a nervous cat is a long process, and we're doing our best to make her feel comfortable and give her the time she needs to settle in.
We looked after a really sociable cat for two weeks, and the two of them got on brilliantly. He did a great job of helping her relax — he'd always try to join her in her hiding spots, tease her a little, follow her around, and call out to her. We hoped it might help bring her out of her shell a bit, but she still waited until night to socialise with him. Unfortunately, we're not in a position to adopt a second cat...
We're a bit worried she'll never truly enjoy the company of humans. It's really hard seeing her so anxious and unhappy every day 😔
Has anyone here ever adopted a nervous adult cat?
I'd love to hear your experiences — just to know whether we're going about this completely the wrong way or not ^^
PS: Sorry for the wall of text!
