I'm at my wits' end with my cat

E
Enopi35 Icon representing the flag French
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I’ve posted on here before about Yumi, who’s 8 months old now and has been a bit aggressive towards me at times.

Honestly, I’m at my wits’ end now, and for even more reasons.

She’s making my life a misery. I wake up every morning with a knot in my stomach because I know it’s going to be another difficult day.

She has everything a cat could want to be happy: cat trees, premium food available whenever she wants, a water fountain, a constantly clean litter tray, tunnels, a cardboard den I built for her, scratching posts, and so many toys I’ve had to buy a bin to store them all in. Plus, I’m home 24/7.

But it’s clearly not enough for her. I don’t work, so I’m constantly with her. All the toys she used to love don’t interest her anymore, even though I rotate them. I wave her favourite teaser wands and run around the flat with them, but I get no reaction. I throw paper balls for her; she chases them and then just stops. I’ve just bought her a ball track circuit, a plush toy stuffed with catnip and silver vine, and a new wand toy, but she couldn't care less. So I eventually give up, and that’s when she starts doing all the things she knows she's not allowed to: scratching the wallpaper, the curtains, my wall hanging, trying to climb the plants, or attacking my arms, legs, and in the worst cases, my face.

The more I tell her 'no', the more she does it.

Yet, we’re so close. She follows me everywhere, always sleeps on me, and climbs onto my shoulders to lie down.

I’ve spent a fortune on her, but that’s nothing compared to the energy I’ve put in—and continue to put in—every single day.

At night, I shut my door to get some peace, and I don't hear a peep from her; she sleeps through. When I go out, nothing has moved when I get back; she sleeps then, too. Basically, if I’m not there, she does nothing and won't play on her own. So when I get back, or when I wake up, she’s full of beans and demanding my attention.

But I just can’t take it anymore. I’m exhausted, depressed, and I’ve run out of ideas to keep her stimulated.

She gives me the impression she’s unhappy despite the dream life I try so hard to give her.

Sometimes she winds me up so much that for a split second, I imagine opening a window just so she’d clear off.

I sometimes think a feline companion would do her good, but I can't really afford a second cat, and I’d be terrified it would have the opposite effect—that she wouldn't accept them because she’s so clingy, leaving me in a worse situation than I am now.

If anyone is going through or has been through something similar, or if anyone has any advice or opinions, I’d really appreciate it, because right now I feel very alone.

Translated from French
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9 answers
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  • X
    Xcassandra Icon representing the flag French
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    Take him out on a lead, that’s what I do and he absolutely loves it 👍 he was a bit nervous the first time, but now he’s the one asking to go. Otherwise, there are SEQUOIA products which are a bit different 🤭🌱 www.sequoiacattrees.com
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    M
    Marieed93 Icon representing the flag French
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    Hi @Enopi35,

    I have a Bengal, and when he was a kitten (about 4–8 months old), he was very high-energy and playful. I’d definitely recommend finding plenty of ways to keep him busy, with games and toys for example. You could also have a look at this blog: https://www.chiensetchats-boutique.com/blogs/blog-chat/comment-eduquer-un-chaton

    I recently ordered a gift for a friend’s kitty from an online pet shop—it was a flying butterfly toy. This butterfly toy is brilliant for keeping a restless or hyperactive cat occupied; I’d really recommend it. (See the photo below).

    Here is the link to the toy: https://www.chiensetchats-boutique.com/products/papillon-volant-jouet-interactif-pour-chat?_pos=1&_sid=08764de62&_ss=r

    They have loads of other fun cat toys, and their customer service is lovely and very responsive. I’d definitely recommend them.

    Have a great weekend and good luck with Yumi! 😍

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    K
    Kelinda Icon representing the flag French
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    Same here, your kitten’s grown up now so they don't play as much. Those ball track circuits are really more for kittens, even if some adults still like them. I leave toys like mice and balls on the floor, but they don't play with them much. I've got one who loves big balls of crumpled-up tissues, and otherwise they all love thick, heavy string that they can't shred or swallow—like the bit from a broken nylon mouse toy. They generally enjoy playing with a teaser wand or fishing rod toy. You might just need to find the right pace for them—some like jumping up high, some like to charge around, and others prefer small movements if they're a bit lazier. Try moving it slowly, as if it’s prey creeping along. You should put up some high shelves near the windows so they can watch the birds outside. Aside from the string every now and then, mine don't really play much either—one of them is especially lazy. That yellow spinning toy with the string poking out—they really liked that one. It might be worth trying some other automatic toys to see what he's into. I think we’re all in the same boat; once they’re adults, it’s much harder to keep them entertained with toys. The good thing about having several cats is that they have those moments where they play together. As for the budget going up, it’s mostly vet bills if anything goes wrong. Otherwise, microchipping and neutering are one-off costs. You can get worming and flea treatments at the chemist; then it’s just the annual boosters and any care if they get poorly. You could start a little 'vet fund' for them just in case. It’s not like they need to go every month, and they probably won't need anything doing right away.
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    Blue_Cat
    Blue_cat Icon representing the flag French
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    Hi, The first thing to do is definitely have her spayed, if she hasn’t been already. She’s well old enough. Plus, being spayed combined with getting a bit older usually calms cats down significantly. You mention a 'dream life', but you’re judging things by human standards. This cat is bored. She has a massive need to blow off some steam and, like many cats, she doesn’t know how to play on her own. She clearly loves you, but a lot of her energy is being bottled up. Apart from having long play sessions with her and leaving some balls of tin foil on the floor for her to bat around, I don’t see many other options. A second cat could be a solution, definitely. But you have to be able to afford the extra costs. I understand your frustration, but this cat isn’t doing anything wrong; she’s just expressing all that unspent energy.
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    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Maybe you should try stimulating her a bit less; if she’s not interested in her toys, it’s because she doesn’t feel the need to play and might be letting you know she’d just prefer some cuddles. But she’s only 8 months old and right in the middle of her "teens", so she’s still a very young cat and a bit loopy, just like all kittens and older kits. When she scratches or bites you, give her a firm "NO" and turn away; it’s important that she’s the one seeking attention from you, not the other way round. I don't know if she's been spayed yet, but I'd suggest getting it done as soon as possible as her hormones are likely affecting her behaviour. It’ll all settle down; usually, after they hit the one-year mark and once they’ve been neutered, they become much calmer.
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    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Sorry, I meant to say

    A young kitten *😅

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    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Hi there, Your situation does sound really exhausting, but my nine-month-old, who’s been spayed, doesn’t play much anymore either. I try to play with her, but it never lasts long because "madam" is very independent and isn’t much of a cuddler. In fact, it’s quite normal; the older they get, the less they play, especially if they’re indoor cats (which is the case for mine). You really shouldn't worry if your kitten is playing less, and I actually think a younger kitten might do her some good (I’m thinking of getting a weaned kitten for mine too, as she gets so bored). So, there’s no need to fret. However, regarding the mischief, I think she might even be overexcited because you're playing with her too much. She needs to calm down, and then your problem won’t seem quite as big. 👋
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    M
    Myra Icon representing the flag French
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    Reading your posts, I get the impression you're quite a high-energy person (don't take that the wrong way!).

    It’s clear you really care about your cat and it’s brilliant that you want to play with her. But by trying to provide too much stimulation (as they say, sometimes less is more!), I suspect you might have ended up with a slightly over-excited cat. My advice: try to gradually bring a bit more calm into your interactions ;-)

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    Landoras
    Landoras Icon representing the flag French
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    Getting a second cat could definitely be good for her. If you get a kitten that’s just been weaned, she should accept him fairly easily. Is Yumi spayed? A second cat obviously means extra costs—vaccinations, neutering, food, litter, and so on. But you won't really have extra expenses for toys or a cat tree, as they’re usually designed for more than one cat anyway. Even though money was a bit tight, I decided to get a second cat to keep my girl entertained. She was very demanding and always wanted our full attention. Having a little male around has helped take the focus off us; they play together all the time (even if he is a bit rough with her sometimes), they occasionally sleep together, eat together, share their litter trays, and even go to the toilet at the same time 🙄. Basically, it’s going quite well 😌
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